Nigerian wedding



Nick am me with the bridal couple



 Not a traditional wedding,…… a “white” wedding yes, but different in a way.

I could not go to the church ceremony. However I did go to the reception where I was entertained by the descriptions of Nick and some of his colleagues.

Nick had to drop me off at my art class at ten on a Saturday morning and was a bit late arriving at the Catholic church. He did not expect it to start on time, being in Nigeria, and found it did actually start on the dot and he was late – but still he was one of the few early arrivals.  The cleaning lady from his office was the only one from the South African High Commission who was there before him. 

He was a bit puzzled when the bridesmaids came down the isle, all with someone holding their trains while they walked (or rather danced) down the isle. After the sermon the bridal couple was asked to come forward to have their ceremony performed and to his surprised it was not the bridal couple whose wedding he was supposed to attend.  When the ceremony was completed another couple was asked to come forward, this time the bride was his colleague, and then after that another one and another one – altogether five weddings all squashed into one event. What happened to the idea that the bride is the most important person at her wedding? 

Were they trying to save money or what? We figured it out at the reception that it must be a practical solution to a local problem.  People arrive so late for any event in Nigeria that to have five weddings in one morning and hour apart will never work here as the last one will be hours late and imagine the confusion of the guest of who goes to which wedding and when. So in peak season when lots of couples want to get married on the same day they have to share. Although the event started at the right time the guests come trouping in throughout the sermon, even some of the brides came rushing in late, all dancing down the isle with their train of supporters.

At least each couple had their own reception.  The South Africans all sat at three tables bundled together.  We sat next to the throne intended for the wedding couple and could see the proceedings fairly well. We each received a beautiful printed booklet of 40 pages into which every detail of the whole ceremony (order of mass and program) was printed. Everything, and I mean everything was in it: the words of the hymns, words of the rites, prayers, readings, sermon, rite of marriage, consent, exchange of rings (mercifully just once) etc, etc, then the order in which photographs will be taken (2 pages), then the names of all involved including the 8 ministers. Needless to say the church service lasted almost three hours.  Last in the booklet was the reception program – only one page.  This was all bound in a cover with the design of the official fabric the guests (male and female) had to wear.  In Nigeria family and close friends and some colleagues all receive (or buy?) the same fabric to have their outfits made for the wedding.  We gratefully did not receive and was ignorant of the custom.

Although the hall was draped and tables set with golden plates and tall floral arrangements there was not a fresh flower in sight – all artificial even the bride’s bouquet. Again it was practical, because in this heat the real thing would probably have looked depressing.

In Nigeria a bride seems to dance a lot.  They danced in and out of the church.  They danced into the reception, this time with hubby in tow, and then danced for money.  Money got strewn over the couple just like in some cultures in the Mediterranean areas.  But what amazed me it was the bride that kept dancing for the money for a long time (which got stuffed into her bodice, underneath her dress and wherever).  The new husband just occasionally joined her to get a note behind the ear.  A bridesmaid collected all these notes in a big black plastic bag.

And then the presents:  the couple sat on the throne and the guests brought the presents and presented them with it.  Then the guest received presents from the couple (quite embarrassing I found). We went away with specially printed bags with the couples name and wedding date, filled with plates, mugs, a bowl, notepads and pens – a bit like a marketing campaign. A topic for discussion came up amongst us South Africans when one guest brought a present either too big to be wrapped or deliberately revealing: a big box with a baby stroller printed on it.  I will not repeat the comments on this one.

I wonder what their traditional weddings will be like.  In the market I have encountered some old wedding beads, some especially for the bride and others for the groom as well as special headgear.  I would like to see that, …. maybe one day.







Bridesmaids preceding the bridal couple at the reception.



Bridal couple dancing into the reception area





Cutting the cake